The GRACE of Life!

Today's Sunday School lesson was on marriage. Well, sort of. I guess it was more about the relationships between a man and a woman, from first sight to and through marriage. The lesson started in 1 Corinthians 7 with Paul's response to a question the church at Corinth had written him to ask. Paul's response was "it is not good for a man to touch a woman."  Did he really say that? Yup, he did! He also said some things about divorce and remarriage but I don't want to get into that.

The fact is, if you read Paul's comments within their proper context the are very beneficial to a marriage and not only to a marriage but to someone seeking to find God's will for their life where it applies to marriage and relationships.

One thing Paul doesn't discuss here is dating. Of course people didn't date back then, did they? So we have to take his comments and make them fit into today's culture, right? I have to say wrong. We must remove ourselves from culture and find what is God's will for our life. God doesn't care what our culture is. He doesn't care if others are playing the field, sewing their oats, letting off steam or whatever. He cares if we are doing His will, and that's exactly what we should care about.

Dana and I watched a movie last night named Sara's Choice starring Rebecca St. James. It was really a great movie and well thought out. In the movie Sara (St. James) is a businesswoman who's just been promoted and finds out she is pregnant. Unmarried and afraid she will lose her promotion, she struggles between her religious upbringing that tells her she must keep the baby and her coworker trying to convince her to have an abortion. At one point in the movie she sits down with her pastor, a man who watched her grow up. She tells him she has a decision to make but doesn't tell him what the problem is. He asks her questions about both decisions and, based on her answers, then tells her she knows what the right one is.  Finally he tells her she has to make the right decision regardless of the consequences.

That really slapped me in the face. So often in my life I have made decisions based on what others might think or what I think might make me happy at the time. I have often tried to justify the decision as the "right" one, but in reality the right decision was already clear to me.

I dated in high school and in college. But, looking back, I don't believe that was what God wanted me to do. Why did I do it? Because I was focused on what others thought of me and what I wanted to do, not what God wanted me to be doing. I was driven by a lifestyle that the culture said was normal. And there were consequences.

Paul said it is better for some to marry rather than burn with passion. He said it would be great if everyone could be as he was (not driven by the need for a life partner) but he understands that isn't the case, so he said a man who is driven in the way should find a wife. Paul makes it clear to us that some need to be married. But he also says that some don't have to be... and that's a bonus because they can more readily serve the Lord!

Those of us who are married are married. We have made a choice. There will be consequences. But remember this; all life choices have consequences! Going down one road means I don't go down the other one. Your marriage won't be perfect because neither you nor your spouse are perfect.

Likewise, if you are single and have no prospects, don't feel you're doing something wrong. Don't spend every waking hour trying to find a spouse. Spend time seeking God's will for you and then do His will. You already have most of His will written down for you. The rest will come to you if you stay focused on Him!

If you are married and you are struggling with your marriage, God has given you the answers you need in His word. Look at 1 Peter 3. Read it all, not just the parts today's culture says are anti-women. Get the proper context. Realize that Love in marriage is a verb! Love is what we do more than it is what we feel!

Peter says, in verse 7, that husbands should dwell with their wives "with understanding". Please note that this doesn't mean we know and understand all about our wives. This means that we understand they are different from us and we must bear that in mind in everything we do. Yes, he calls her the "weaker vessel". It's true! Have you tried arm wrestling your wife? Husbands are to protect, defend, love and cherish their wives!

Then he says that a husband and wife are "heirs together of the grace of life"!  WOW!! I've always heard that life is a gift from God. However, I've never really considered this gift as a gift of Grace. Grace is getting something you don't deserve. Life is something we don't deserve! We don't deserve it! But God has given it to us anyway. And not only that, He has given those of us who need it helpers to be partakers of that gift of grace with us till we die. Till death do us part!

1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

The Reason For My Blog

  When I created this blog my intent was to help parents realize their responsibility in rearing their children. It was also to help them realize their responsibility in rearing their children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord". These were the two primary goals I had in this blog, and each of my posts has tried to convey some biblical truth to the reader in an attempt to show them that scripture is by far the best guide in raising a child. I wanted the parent to understand how important consistency is to a child. A child who continually receives mixed signals from his parent will never know just what his parent wants him to do.  Think about it.

It is your responsibility to raise your child. It is not the church. It is not the government, the school, the community or the grandparents' responsibility. The responsibility for your child is yours and yours alone! Moreover, it is your responsibility to raise your child according to the guidelines set forth in scripture.

Not to be judgmental, but factual... there is coming a day when every parent who has ever lived will be held accountable for the way they raised their children (among many other things). When this happens, the judge will not be looking to see that we took them to soccer, basketball, football or softball practice or if we made sure they had the best education we could afford. The judge will determine whether we raised that child up to follow after Christ.

Last month (May 2013) our pastor delivered a sermon titled "Parenting Was Supposed To Be Fun". In his message he stated "..a good start toward what they will be is infinitely more important than a good start toward what they will do". Education, athletics, dance, gymnastics, cheer-leading and social status are irrelevant. Raising a child who fears, loves and follows God is what matters.

If you are a parent you need to listen to Bro. Brent's sermon! Click on the link above. It's about 45 minutes. Turn off the television, put away (not down... AWAY) the phone and listen to this sermon. While you're listening, open up Notepad or some other editor and take notes!! Then, print your notes and put them somewhere that you can see them daily.

We need to change our priorities when it comes to parenting. Our children don't need the money, the things, the activities... they need us! Bro. Brent makes the statement in his message that "the most formative years of any child are before the age of five". That means that a child raised in daycare until kindergarten will receive the majority of his training during his formative years from his experiences in daycare. Do you want your child to have the best influence in his formative years? Then you need to provide it. Why? Because this is the way God intended it.

Am I saying that no child should be in daycare? No, not at all. Some parents find themselves in the situation, one that is more and more common, where they are single parents. They can't be home with their child and earn the money to keep a roof over that child's head. I understand that and I can't imagine what that must be like. However, many Christian families have decided that both parents should work and someone else should raise their child. If you are one of those parents you need to listen to this message! It was meant for you!

Here is the link again.

3 John 1:4 - "I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."

Show Me Your Faith

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1).

Depending on your Bible translation two words in this verse can be different. Personally I prefer the KJV translation in this verse. 

Last week while studying for our Sunday Bible study I began to ponder this verse. I began to consider how faith could be substance or proof. What is it about faith that gives it substance?

I have often considered faith as an intangible... something you either have or you don't. However, as I began to dig deeper I began piecing together verses in Hebrews and James that I've known all my life but just haven't considered together (in the same context). I guess it wasn't really that much of a revelation... it was something I have known somewhere inside all my Christian life but just have never been able to really lay hold of... to be able to communicate adequately to others. 

In chapter 2, James makes the point that faith without works is dead. He gives the example of someone wishing a person who has nothing well, but not doing anything to help them. In verse 17, after giving the example, he said that "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead" (NIV). I like the NIV here because it uses the word "action". Faith is a verb... just like love. It's an action word!

James continues... "But someone will say, 'You have faith; I have deeds.' Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do". James is going to show people his faith by his actions. The substance of his faith is what he does. The evidence of his faith is how people see him act on that faith.

That's why faith without works is dead (nekros)... because without action it's powerless!

• Faith becomes faith because you act on it, not because you have it. 
• Faith becomes faith when you determine to wait on God's timing instead of your own. 
• Faith becomes faith when you take the initiative and make sure that hungry person has food to eat, that hurting friend has a shoulder to cry on, that elderly church member doesn't have to get out and rake their own leaves, or that town in Oregon gets to hear the Gospel of Christ!!

James said "I will show you my faith by what I do". What are you doing? is your faith becoming faith?

Hebrews 11:6  And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. 

Moments Of Clarity

It's been about seven months since my last post. I have started more than one post since then and then just not finished it.

Does that ever happen to you? You get started on one thing and another gets your attention. You put this down to work on that and the other gets your attention. Welcome to my world... the world of Attention Deficit Disorder!

Or maybe it's more complicated than that. Maybe you set out to do something for the Kingdom... some ministry task... and decided you just weren't worthy of such a task. Your conscience just wouldn't allow you to go through with it. So it remained half-done.

That's probably a more apt description of why it has taken me over six months to complete a blog.  Sometimes I look around me and begin to feel I'm failing my God and Savior. I feel like I am unworthy and a hypocrite. When I find myself in this place I find myself doing nothing. It's not that doing nothing makes me feel any better. It's just that, at the time, it seems to not make me feel worse about my testimony. The unfortunate thing is this feeling eventually tends to build on itself. So I have to conclude that I am feeling worse about my testimony and I am beginning to withdraw into my own little pity party.

But there are times, like this past Sunday evening, that can really bring me out of that place. At bedtime Sunday evening Lacey gave her heart to Jesus! She has been talking about being saved for quite awhile now. However, the way she talks about it is so matter-of-fact that it has kept us from making a big deal of it.

Lacey is quite a bit different from her sisters. Whereas they are a bit reserved and don't volunteer much information, Lacey is outgoing, outspoken and whatever is on her mind is coming out her mouth! Lacey is extremely sensitive to the world around her in many ways (much like I was at her age). She can't stand loud noises, she can't handle any sort of intense situations... whether in real life or in a movie. She has yet to watch a Star Wars movie because the intense music makes her extremely uncomfortable. That said, she is also extremely sensitive to (and responsive to) the needs of those around her.

Along with all this sensitivity comes a very expressive personality. Lacey can communicate her feelings better than any six-year-old I've ever seen. She is so expressive your first inclination is to pass it off as a game. But when she came to us Sunday evening to tell us she wanted to be saved we decided we needed to follow up on it this time. I got my phone out and opened up my Bible app. I pulled up a few scriptures and Lacey read them to me. I then asked her to tell me what they meant. She answered all my questions fully and quickly. When she understood what she needed to do she prayed, told God she was a sinner, told Him she wanted to turn away from her sin and turn to Him. She said she knew Jesus was His son and that He died for her sins and she asked Him to save her. It was that simple!

So it's at times like these when I realize first of all that I am making a difference. I also realize I had a responsibility to be a witness because someone was watching me and that someone was my own daughter! She learned about Jesus in part because of me and she made the decision to follow Him in part because of me. What if I had given up because I felt so unworthy to be a witness and had gone my own way? Would she have made that decision?

Finally, we have been studying the Holy Spirit in our Sunday School series. Part of our study was when Jesus promised to send a "comforter".  He said that this advocate would be with us forever... that He would guide us to all truth and He would declare the words of Christ to us!

So, if we have such a Spirit within us, why should we be discouraged? Jesus knew we would struggle with our sin and our inadequacy and he sent his own Spirit to dwell in us and to glorify God through us. In fact, Jesus wants us to rely completely on the guidance of His Holy Spirit and not on our own guidance (Prov 3:5,6). That's where we get tripped up isn't it? We decide we aren't worthy and forget that we aren't supposed to do it! We're supposed to let God do it through us!

Romans 5:20b - "...but where sin abounded, grace did abound more exceedingly"

30 Life Principles by Charles Stanley

Who's On Your Friend List?

Do words still mean things? Do we still mean it when we say someone is our "friend"? These questions take on an entirely new light when you consider sites like Facebook. I have 824 "friends" on my Facebook page. I didn't realize I knew 824 people.  But I do. Honestly. I know everyone on my friend list. Not only that, there are certainly hundreds, if not thousands, on Facebook I do know who are not on my friend list. But to these 824... can I truly say I consider all these people my friend?

What does it mean to be a friend? What are the criteria that have to be met for someone to be my friend? To be honest I've never really thought about this. Does my finding them on Facebook and "friending" them get the job done? Or should there be more to it?

In today's world I believe we have come to view friends differently than at any time before. There is a supermarket in our town that employs a lot of high school students. I'm certain the primary reason is they work for less than most adults would and are also much more easily replaced. One thing I notice when I shop there is the complete lack of temperance (for lack of a better word) when these teens speak to one another and to the customers. It's not that they are using foul language. It's that they hold nothing back. It's as if, by smiling at them, greeting them and asking how they're doing, you've instantly become their best friend. And what follows is a detailed account of their lives. In all fairness, however, I did ask how they were doing, didn't I?

I listen to these teens and feel so sorry for them. They obviously have a lot on their minds and nobody with which to share it. I have to ask myself what their home lives are like. First of all, do their parents spend time with them?  Do they truly want to know how and what their teens are doing? Do these teens have true friends... friends who, when asked, give real advice or, when not asked, simply listen? Friends who hold their conversations as sacred, never to be discussed with others and especially never to be aired out on the internet or in the classroom? Do these young people really know what a friend is?

If one is willing to spend time in the scripture the book of Proverbs has a lot to say about the qualities of a good friend.

A friend is someone who

• can keep a secret - 11:13, 12:23
• speaks the truth - 12:17-19
• loves at all times - 17:17

To the person seeking a friend wants to 

• avoid foolish persons - 14:7
• look for wisdom - 12:15
• look for faithfulness - 20:6

There are scores more you can add to each of these categories from the book of Proverbs alone.

I had lunch with one of my best friends today. David and I became best friends in Jr. High and have remained so for the past thirty plus years. David moved back to Arkansas a couple of years ago and we regularly meet for lunch. We share life stories, ups and downs, and our love for God when we visit.  We laugh... a lot. We give advice when it's sought and we don't really hold back much when we give it. That's because each of us knows the other is speaking in love with our best interests in mind.

Finding a true friend is a worthy endeavor as it will benefit you throughout your life.  However, if you yourself aren't willing to be a true friend... to be trustworthy, truthful, selfless and loving... you are likely to have great difficulty finding a true friend. Friendship is a two-way street. It must be both pursued and earned. 

If your children are still with you please make every effort to show them what a friend is. Along your parenting, they need to learn from you what it takes to be and to have a close friend. They need to learn these traits from you before they can ever properly utilize them in their own lives.

If you are a teen who is seeking a friend.  My first recommendation is that you take the book of Proverbs to heart. Let it help you to understand what your behavior should be. Then go and be a true friend... and you will have true friends.

Proverbs 18:24 - A man who has friends must himself be friendly.  But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.