The GRACE of Life!

Today's Sunday School lesson was on marriage. Well, sort of. I guess it was more about the relationships between a man and a woman, from first sight to and through marriage. The lesson started in 1 Corinthians 7 with Paul's response to a question the church at Corinth had written him to ask. Paul's response was "it is not good for a man to touch a woman."  Did he really say that? Yup, he did! He also said some things about divorce and remarriage but I don't want to get into that.

The fact is, if you read Paul's comments within their proper context the are very beneficial to a marriage and not only to a marriage but to someone seeking to find God's will for their life where it applies to marriage and relationships.

One thing Paul doesn't discuss here is dating. Of course people didn't date back then, did they? So we have to take his comments and make them fit into today's culture, right? I have to say wrong. We must remove ourselves from culture and find what is God's will for our life. God doesn't care what our culture is. He doesn't care if others are playing the field, sewing their oats, letting off steam or whatever. He cares if we are doing His will, and that's exactly what we should care about.

Dana and I watched a movie last night named Sara's Choice starring Rebecca St. James. It was really a great movie and well thought out. In the movie Sara (St. James) is a businesswoman who's just been promoted and finds out she is pregnant. Unmarried and afraid she will lose her promotion, she struggles between her religious upbringing that tells her she must keep the baby and her coworker trying to convince her to have an abortion. At one point in the movie she sits down with her pastor, a man who watched her grow up. She tells him she has a decision to make but doesn't tell him what the problem is. He asks her questions about both decisions and, based on her answers, then tells her she knows what the right one is.  Finally he tells her she has to make the right decision regardless of the consequences.

That really slapped me in the face. So often in my life I have made decisions based on what others might think or what I think might make me happy at the time. I have often tried to justify the decision as the "right" one, but in reality the right decision was already clear to me.

I dated in high school and in college. But, looking back, I don't believe that was what God wanted me to do. Why did I do it? Because I was focused on what others thought of me and what I wanted to do, not what God wanted me to be doing. I was driven by a lifestyle that the culture said was normal. And there were consequences.

Paul said it is better for some to marry rather than burn with passion. He said it would be great if everyone could be as he was (not driven by the need for a life partner) but he understands that isn't the case, so he said a man who is driven in the way should find a wife. Paul makes it clear to us that some need to be married. But he also says that some don't have to be... and that's a bonus because they can more readily serve the Lord!

Those of us who are married are married. We have made a choice. There will be consequences. But remember this; all life choices have consequences! Going down one road means I don't go down the other one. Your marriage won't be perfect because neither you nor your spouse are perfect.

Likewise, if you are single and have no prospects, don't feel you're doing something wrong. Don't spend every waking hour trying to find a spouse. Spend time seeking God's will for you and then do His will. You already have most of His will written down for you. The rest will come to you if you stay focused on Him!

If you are married and you are struggling with your marriage, God has given you the answers you need in His word. Look at 1 Peter 3. Read it all, not just the parts today's culture says are anti-women. Get the proper context. Realize that Love in marriage is a verb! Love is what we do more than it is what we feel!

Peter says, in verse 7, that husbands should dwell with their wives "with understanding". Please note that this doesn't mean we know and understand all about our wives. This means that we understand they are different from us and we must bear that in mind in everything we do. Yes, he calls her the "weaker vessel". It's true! Have you tried arm wrestling your wife? Husbands are to protect, defend, love and cherish their wives!

Then he says that a husband and wife are "heirs together of the grace of life"!  WOW!! I've always heard that life is a gift from God. However, I've never really considered this gift as a gift of Grace. Grace is getting something you don't deserve. Life is something we don't deserve! We don't deserve it! But God has given it to us anyway. And not only that, He has given those of us who need it helpers to be partakers of that gift of grace with us till we die. Till death do us part!

1 Peter 3:7 - Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.