"Little Miss Get Well Soon"

Do (or did) you ever find yourself in a situation with your child where you have to decide whether you are going to nurture or discourage a behavior?  Honestly, if you have children over 18 months and haven't come to that point you might need to reconsider your parenting approach.  In fact, we should be helping to guide our children from day one.  Show me a parent who isn't helping to guide their child's development and I'll show you a child the teacher (or daycare worker) dreads to see coming. 

Lacey, our four-year-old, is by far the most outspoken of our three girls.  I have told Dana more than once that she has the privilege of raising me all over again.  I see so much of myself in Lacey... the good and the bad.  Let's start with the bad.

Lacey isn't one to fall on the floor and throw a screaming fit... we have guided her away from that.  In fact, Lacey, like her sisters, is a very well behaved child.  However, Lacey does have some differences of personality from her sisters.  Lacey is very "high-strung" (at least that's what I was called.  Maybe that was just a nice way of saying I was hyperactive).  She is also a very determined little girl.  She has to have an explanation.  With the other girls a reply like "because I said so" worked very well... however, not so well with Lacey.  For instance, when we would tell Lacey to be quiet she would get very upset and say, "can't I just say something"?    So how do you guide someone who is so determined, inquisitive and insistent?  I'll let you know when I've figured it out.

On the good side, and this is the reason for this post, Lacey is one of the most sympathetic people I've ever known.  While most children her age are so involved in play or a meal or a television show, Lacey seems to always be acutely aware of what's going on around her.  My concern here is that as she gets older she, like me, becomes overwhelmed by all the stimuli around her.  And this does seem to come out often in the evening when she's begins to tire.  However, her acute awareness of her surroundings has shown us something wonderful about her.  Lacey is very concerned with other people's problems.  When someone is struggling you can see her struggling with them.  It shows on her face.  We've watched her comfort another child her age who is throwing a fit because they didn't get something.  She is not the least bit concerned with why they're crying (as we adults often are) but only that they are suffering and she wants so much to help make it better.

Lacey is our "Little Miss Get Well Soon".  When someone is sick she is going to do something to help them feel better.  Her first task is to draw them a picture.  She always decides the topic of the drawing.  Then she will get with someone to help her write a letter.  Just last night Dana was sitting on our bed resting with a heating pad on her knees (long story).  And during our bedtime prayer time Lacey informed her mother that she was "going to do something special for you tomorrow to help you feel better".   She is always making something special for some of our Senior church members who have been in the hospital.  She has a genuine desire to do anything she can to help people in their suffering.

The best word for Lacey's feelings is compassion.  Websters defines compassion as "sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it".  And we want to encourage that virtue.  But we want to do it correctly... there is a fine line between being compassionate and being a busy-body.  That fine line is self and we want to make sure that, for Lacey, self is in the right place.

When a person sees someone in distress they respond in a number of ways, but they're all pretty much defined by where one sees oneself in relation to another person's distress.  Lacey sees herself in a position to do something to help.  What does that mean?  Well, it means she thinks less of herself in this situation and more of the other person.  She is willing to sacrifice of herself to help the other person feel better... to the point that she acts on it.  This begs another question.  Is compassion really compassion if you don't act?  Notice the definition above says nothing about acting on it.  It simply conveys a desire to act.  Think about that.

The flip side would be Lacey seeing a person in distress and first considering how their situation affects Lacey.  It doesn't seem like much but there is a vast difference between the two responses.  It's about priorities.  If self is first then the other person is last.  If the other person is first then self is last.

So in considering how to guide Lacey in this area I realized that I really need more guidance than Lacey.  Lacey is doing what she can while I often do nothing.  How do I become more compassionate (and act on it)?  James 14:7 says "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins".  I guess this means I just have to man up!  If I don't know what to do to help someone in distress maybe I should just go up and ask them!  At the very least I should stop right there and ask God to show me what to do.  In fact, before I ever arrive at this point I should be praying for insight and looking for opportunities!  After all, we do have everything we need to be prepared for a situation like this, don't we?  It's actually a little shameful when I think about it.  My four-year-old is teaching me a lesson straight out of scripture. 

Be Prepared!! 

James 1:22-24 (NIV) - Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

How Quickly Does God Answer Prayer?

This may seem insignificant to some, but something amazing happened at our house last night and I had to put it up here as a great example of answered prayer.

Our cat Junior disappeared two days ago.  He is one to stay out all night but he is always at the door the next morning dying for something to eat.  However, yesterday he wasn't there.  He was gone all day yesterday and at bedtime last night Lauren was pretty upset.  Lauren always puts the cats up at night (if she can find them) and was hoping Junior would show up. 

So Dana said, "Let's pray about it". She gathered the girls in Lauren's room and they said a prayer asking God to help Junior find his way back home.

In the meantime while I was sitting in the living room watching the news (I had no idea what was going on in Lauren's room) I heard the familiar deep "meow" from Junior outside so I opened the front door and let him in.  And there was much rejoicing!

What I didn't realize until later was that the "meow" I had heard came at precisely the time (almost to the second) the girls ended their prayer.  So, in a mater of a few seconds after the prayer, the girls were able to hear Junior meowing as he came in the front door.

Again, this may not seem like a significant thing to many.  However, I'm convinced that we don't often consider God's work in our lives as something significant.  In fact I believe most of His work goes completely unnoticed by us because we say a prayer and then go off and shortly forget about it.  But this time was different.  There wasn't time to forget.  What a teaching moment for the girls (and for their parents)! 

I have to consider... if we were more diligent in our prayer lives, not just praying once for someone or something but repeatedly and often, and if we were more observant in our daily lives, we would probably be able to see more of God's work in our lives.  And if we were able to see more of God's work, how much more faith might we have? 

"Pray without ceasing." 1Th 5:17
 
God help me to be diligent in my prayer life and to be observant in my daily life, looking for and expecting to see Your work done!
 
 

What's Really Important?

After lunch today at work I decided I needed some caffeine. So I went to the machine to buy a can of Mountain Dew. When I retrieved the can I was most irritated to find it was hot. Apparently the machine is broken as some in the office had noticed the problem the previous day (and failed to put a note on it). No big deal... I got a cup, put some ice in it and poured in the Dew. I'm not one to dilute my Dew with ice but this was a special situation.

Once I poured the Dew I realized I also needed a chocolate fix. So I made a trip to the ground floor to buy a candy bar (no I don't count calories... instead, I exercise). Even as I made my way from the elevator to the vending machine I was dwelling on the hot Dew and what I was going to do to help remedy the situation.

Just then I rounded a corner and noticed three EMTs tending to our building custodian as he sat there in a corner of his little storage room. There were others in the room watching as they checked his blood pressure. Immediately I was confronted with the fact that I had spent the last ten minutes fuming over a hot Mountain Dew while this man just could be fighting for his life.

On my way back upstairs I said a prayer for him and began to contemplate why I had let myself get so worked up over nothing.

We live in a world that compels us to be self-absorbed. Televisions shows, television and magazine ads, movies and even many Christian televangelists tell us how wecan be this and we can be that. At some point we begin to feel we are really important!! And so we begin again, just as we did when we were toddlers, to look at life through our "me" glasses. How does this affect me? What is that going to do for me? What's in it for me? Finally, we end up feeling so self-important that the nothing events in our lives become world-ending disasters. "Why should I have to deal with a hot Mountain Dew"??

In the last half of Matthew 6, Jesus points out to the disciples they don't need to be concerned over the little things... things like "what will I wear" and "what will I eat". What's funny is we think those are big things. But Jesus didn't. What Jesus ends up saying is, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things (what will I eat, what will I wear) will be added to you".

So what is important? Well, apparently the kingdom of God is important. But where is the kingdom of God? Some say it's exists now as a spiritual kingdom. I can't disagree with that. But how do I seek it? Three things... prayer, Bible study and meditation.

If I focus more on that kingdom what will it do to me? Well, first I would be spending less time on other things, right? if I'm normally spending my time dwelling on a lot of useless things, this would be a plus!

Second, my mindset will begin to change. I begin to perceive things in a different light. I will begin to see things around me from a Godly perspective and from not from a worldly (television/movies/politicians/Oprah) perspective.

It's always good when I'm reminded of my own self-absorption. It definitely made me feel guilty finding myself in this state and being shocked out of it by a sight like the one I saw today. Please pray for this nice old man, our custodian!

Boysenberries!!

My coworkers have been saying I'm a bit obsessed with my berry-picking.  So I decided to add this to my blog.  If you look at the picture to the right you'll see boysenberries.  I found these today while picking.  For perspective I put a quarter in the middle of the boysenberries.  Yes, they're HUGE! 

So what is a boysenberry (Tre, help me out here)?  I found from wisegeek.com that they're a cross between a blackberry, a loganberry (a what?) and a raspberry.  We had boysenberries next to our house in Murfreesboro, AR when I was growing up.  Each spring I'd spend a few days picking them so as to have a mess of preserves through the winter.  Mom would always oblige!! 

So, the blackberries I've been picking aren't nearly this big.  However they're huge for blackberries.  I've determined these are hybrids.  Cabot has always been known for the farmland around it and I'm convinced these might have been left over from those days. 

I went again today and picked about a gallon before getting rained out.  I was aiming for two gallons! 

Which brings me to the point here.  Why do I love to pick berries?  I hadn't really thought about it until this year.  Since I was a child I loved berry-picking... but why?  I guess for a lot of reasons.  I love the taste of ripe berries.  I love the preserves and cobblers that are made.  I also just love getting outside away from everything and everyone and being alone with nature. 

However, I think the primary reason I love picking berries is I just can't bear the thought of those berries going to waste!  There is something inside me that just drives me to do it.  I'm sure it's much more complicated though... maybe I love the feeling that I've harvested something that cost me nothing (other than a few chiggers and scratches all over my hands).  And that will then become something (preserves) that I will be able to enjoy for months to come.  In essence I've gained something at little or no cost.  Maybe this was instilled in my by my parents when I was young.

So, this is a great opportunity to teach my girls about being enterprising... about making the best of opportunities given.  Lauren helped pick (a little... before it got too hot and she got tired of the briars) and Lindsey jumped in and helped with making the preservers... she even made a cobbler! 

"Who can find a virtuous wife?  For her worth is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10

God Words

A couple of weeks ago, sitting in worship, I noticed Lacey (Our three-yr-old) was using a crayon to highlight words on our worship lyric sheets.  I leaned over and asked what she was doing.  She said, "I'm finding God words"!  She was going through the entire sheet and highlighting words like God, Jesus, Lord or Savior.

So I took a minute to help her (don't tell the pastor).  It fascinated me that she was excited about finding "God words" in the song lyrics.  With all the things she could do during the sermon... color, play with a doll or one of her storm-trooper action figures, she chose to get the lyric sheet out and look for "God words"!

This really got me to thinking.  How often do I put aside the things I'd rather be doing and look for "God words"?  Let's change that a bit.  How often do I put aside the things I'd rather be doing and look for "God's Word"?  When I'd rather be watching a movie or perusing Facebook, wouldn't it be better to take that time to sit down with God's Word and see what He wants me to do?

You can learn a lot from a child.