The Auto-Tune generation

In the golden days of Hollywood the biggest stars worked their way up through Vaudeville to get onto the big screen.  Their talents were manifold.  They could act, sing, dance.  They had spent years (not days, weeks or months) in dance class, acting class, music class, voice class.  Others specialized in physical comedy, earning their money the hard way by taking the fall... and paying dearly for it in their old age.

Today's stars don't have to worry.  They can have their faces and bodies airbrushed to perfection... or have a face-lift and liposuction if they prefer.  They don't have to learn how to dance either.  They simply let a body double do the work, digitally overlay their face onto the shot and voila, they're a dancer!  As for singing, just pipe their voice into a computer, stir in some Auto-Tune and they're instantly a professional singer.

Our children are the Auto-Tune generation!

I admit, it's not like this for everyone.  However, today's youth are bombarded with enough technology to replace almost everything for which the previous generation had to work so hard.  Think about it, today's youth don't even need to learn how to type!  They can speak to their computer (or phone) and it converts their speech to text.  There is so much information on the internet that youth need hardly lift a finger to do all the research they need for a school project.  Unfortunately for them, you can't trust everything you read on the internet (in fact, I trust very little I read unless the source is reputable).

Now, I'm not against technology... after all my career is in the Information Technology sector.  What concerns me is that our youth may be forgetting how to be themselves.  They can create a Facebook account, post pictures and status updates that say whatever they want.  They can paint a completely convincing picture to the world of one person and a picture to their parents of another.  With technology, they can, on their  Facebook page, whiten their teeth, cover up their pimples, take the frizz out of their hair, shave off ten pounds... they can even put themselves in a place they've never been.

One problem here.  With all this technology and information they can't make themselves happy.   What young people see when they look at others' posts on Facebook or Myspace are often "perfect" people.  People who haven't a care in the world.  People who have the best time whatever it is they do.  Why do they see this?  Because everyone wants to be seen as having it all... having what their friends have.  Teens don't want to be seen as being less well-off as their peers.  They want to be in control of everything, and if they can't be in control they want to at least make it appear they're in control.

What this does is build a false sense of worth in our teens.  First they see what others appear to have and they don't have.  Then, whether out of selfishness, vanity or a sense of inferiority (or all of the above), they set forth to obtain what the others have.  Not because they need it or even because they want it, but because it makes them appear to be someone they aren't.  Then the cycle repeats itself.

As Christian parents we need to break this cycle.  It's our responsibility to help fill our children with the things of God.  We do that by placing the things of God in front of them, both by training and by example.  If our children see us in a never-ending race to keep up with the neighbors they will place a higher priority on worldly things.  If they see us more concerned with following after Christ they will place a higher priority on Godly things.

What is important to you?  Are you focusing on your career?  Could it even be you are trying to keep up with your friends in the church?  Their children are in the puppets, children's choir and the teen band, so you think yours should be as well?  Your children aren't ignorant.  They know whether you're focusing on them or on their keeping up with the other kids.  Make certain your children know by your actions that they are the most important things on earth to you!

We need to help instill in our children the confidence that Jesus Christ is all they need.  They don't need to be somebody they aren't because they have everything they need in Him!  So that it doesn't matter to them if their best friend gets an iPhone for Christmas because their hand-me-down slider gets the job done!

Phil 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Christmas at the Wright's

Every year for Thanksgiving we have two family celebrations; one with my family and one with Dana's.  This year it was nice that both family celebrations were within thirty miles of one another.  Normally that isn't the case.  We so enjoy getting to see our families and this year was an especially fun time as we had great nieces and nephews that we hadn't seen in quite some time come up from TX.

On Thursday we normally go to Dana's family Thanksgiving.  We eat tons of turkey, honey-baked ham and brisket.  Then we eat tons of pecan pie or various other desserts.  Then on Friday we go to my parents' house and do it all over again!  And at each gathering we sit and visit for hours, retell old stories and laugh until we forget about how much we just ate.  It's always so much fun!  We're always so worn out when it's over but not quite ready to go home.  We're only glad to be home when we finally crawl into our own beds for the night.

However, at Christmas we stay home and take time to enjoy the holiday as a family unit.  We try to make Christmas as special a day as possible... because it is the day we set aside to celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus.

Honestly, we don't get into "Christmas" that much.  We don't go overboard on decoration.  In fact, up until the past few years we didn't have a tree at Christmas.  We would normally set up a nativity and place the gifts around that.  I always thought that was much more in line with the way Christmas is told us in scripture, although there is much debate as to the timing of the arrival of the wise men and the manger.  But we'll leave that discussion for another time.  Suffice to say we try to make Christmas about Christ.

One thing we have done for many years is to make use of Adorenaments.  I don't think these are made anymore but you might find them on Amazon or Ebay.  They are a wonderful way to help your children focus on just who Jesus is in the days leading up to Christmas.  There are twelve Adorenaments (ornaments), each one with a different name for Jesus.  Each name has a scripture reference.  So starting about now (the 12th), and each night up until Christmas eve, we place one Adorenament on the tree and read the story associated with that name for Jesus.

Also, and I'll probably catch it for this but here goes... we don't do Santa Claus.  We decided when Lindsey was a baby that we wanted to be faithful to our children in both big and small things.  We have always believed and done our best to demonstrate consistency with them.  When we tell them something we have always done our best to make certain we follow through on that so they have no reason to doubt us and therefore no reason not to trust us.  We decided that, as seemingly harmless as Santa Claus is, it was not going to work with the decision we had made.  Our kids aren't warped and they don't miss out on Christmas because of this.  In fact, I believe they appreciate Christmas much more being able to see and discern the real meaning of Christmas from the Christmas all the retail outlets would have them believe (if you get my drift).

So if you ask Lacey what Santa got her for Christmas and get a blank stare, it's not that she doesn't understand what you're asking.  It's that she knows Santa didn't get her anything but doesn't want to spoil it for you. ;)

Micah 5:2 "But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, Though you are little among the thousands of Judah, Yet out of you shall come forth to Me The One to be Ruler in Israel, Whose goings forth are from of old, From everlasting."

Can You Keep a Secret?

Dana is keeping a written record of the gems that come out of Lacey's mouth.  When I say "gem" I really mean it.  Some amazing wisdom comes from her mouth.  The other day she told her mom,

"I'm really good at keeping secrets if they are mine, but if it's someone else's I can't handle it!"

After I stopped laughing and picked myself up off the floor I began to think about that which Lacey had so eloquently conveyed.  First of all I have to say I am beginning to realize that, from the smallest age, we are given a great deal of wisdom by God.  However, we're probably just so busy enjoying life as children that we just file it away until something happens (i.e. we do something stupid) and we realize we knew better.  We don't remember exactly how we know, we just know that we knew better.

So back to Lacey's quote for the day.  She's really good at keeping her own secrets, but when it comes to other people's secrets... not so much.  This got me to thinking.  How many times have I said the words... "Don't tell anyone but...".  More times than I want to consider.  Unfortunately, there are two things wrong with that statement.  First, if I didn't want anyone to know, why am I telling someone?  Second, I just placed a burden on someone that they shouldn't have to bear.

Let's look at the first problem... why am I telling someone?  Why do we reveal secrets to one another?  Why do we violate a person's trust and reveal a secret?   I'm no sociologist but I have two opinions.  First, we have some reason to believe that revealing the secret to someone will somehow increase our standing with that person.  Second, friendship requires commonality, so we feel having this secret in common is a way to strengthen our friendship with that person.  

I just mentioned violating a person's trust.  Why do we violate one person's trust in order to gain the acceptance of another?  There is something in us that, in the matter of a few seconds, weighs the costs of revealing one person's secret against the potential gain in our relationship with the other.  And, I have to believe, more often than not we decide it's worth the cost.  Before we know it we've violated someone's trust.  Maybe we justified it as no worse than a little white lie.  Nevertheless, the deed is done.

Now to the second problem.  We just saddled someone with a load they didn't ask for and probably didn't want in the first place but were too nice to stop us.  Let's face it, it's hard to keep a secret.  Especially when it's not about us and we're the only one who knows.  So we just dump it on someone else and, maybe for a few minutes, we feel better.  If it gets out now it wasn't us!  What does Jesus say about this?  Well, he has a lot to say.  For instance, in Luke 17 He says,

"Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin".

Jesus didn't mince words here... He doesn't have a good opinion of enablers.  If He didn't we shouldn't either.  We're told to stay away from people like this.  And while we're on the subject, what do we call people like this?  We call them gossips!!

So let's think about what we're doing when we gossip.  We're violating one person's trust to gain another's acceptance.  Here's my two cents worth.  If the second person is a Christian (a Christ-Like person) we will failed to gain their acceptance.  In fact they would do one of three things.

1. They would stop us before we could tell them the secret
2. They would chide us for being a gossip (as rightly they should)
3. They would be a stranger to us

I like option 1 above.  If someone says "Don't tell anyone, but" I should say "STOP" right then and tell them I don't want to hear it if it's meant to be a secret.  Doing that one time will likely stop the gossip from that point forward.

The final state of a gossip is this.  They don't have the trust of the first person and the don't have the acceptance of the second. The fact is that neither person can trust the gossip.  So it's really just not worth it to be a gossip, is it?

In the Duggars' book 20 and Counting (page 169) they explain how they handle this with their children.  If anyone tells them a "secret" they are to come directly to their parents and tell them.  What this does is keep the burden off the children.  It's a burden they should not have to bear!

Looking in the mirror, I see I fail in this area miserably and often.  Looking at my daughters, I see I must do better.  First of all, I am an example to them.  Second, to think I could possibly be enabling my children (or anyone else) to sin by placing this burden on them ought to be more than motivation to put gossip aside.  It should also be motivation to call others' attention to their own gossip.  

Lacey is right... we "just can't handle it"... and we really shouldn't have to!

Matthew 5:7 "But let your speech be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: and whatsoever is more than these is of the evil one."

Selflessness

Japan pensioners volunteer to tackle nuclear crisis

I read this article today.  Basically these retired engineers have decided they need to step up and deal with the problems at the Fukushima reactor.  Their reason for doing so?  They're old and they don't feel the young need to be exposing themselves to the high levels of radiation at the plant.

The organizer, Yasuteru Yamada, said, "I am 72 and on average I probably have 13 to 15 years left to live. Even if I were exposed to radiation, cancer could take 20 or 30 years or longer to develop. Therefore us older ones have less chance of getting cancer."

Just to refresh our memories (in this day and age the media have about a 48-hour attention span)...  After one of the worst earthquakes in history Japan is in danger of a disaster that some (in the media) say could make Hiroshima and Nagasaki seem like a bad ozone day.  Engineers have been working for weeks to contain multiple reactors before meltdowns occur.  And things aren't looking very good at present.

So these retirees are volunteering to take the place of younger engineers, to go into the high radiation areas and perform tasks that will probably end their lives early.  What's up with that??

Selflessness and self-sacrifice (along with honor and respect) are integral to the Japanese culture.  This is probably a result of the wide acceptance of Confucianism in Japan.  Unfortunately western cultural influence has begun to slowly change all that.

What is it that would motivate someone to voluntarily offer up their life to save the lives of people they've never met?

This Monday we celebrated Memorial Day... a day which we in the U.S. set aside to remember those who gave their lives in battle defending our country.  At the same time we honor and pray for those who are in various locations around the world doing so now.  I had two friends return last week from Afghanistan.  It was great to see them return safely.  I have others who are there now.  We pray for them daily... as is our duty.

However, in the case of the Japanese, these men aren't on foreign soil defending their country from those who wish to do it harm.  There are no guns and no tanks.  The enemy is unseen and the men really don't know why the problems are as bad as they appear to be.  No politics.  All they know is that if they don't act, younger citizens will be paying a great price for many years to come.  They are offering to place themselves in harm's way so that these younger men and women may live long and healthy lives.  They aren't spending time protesting nuclear power plants at the government buildings and they aren't busy blaming their government or the U.S. or whoever for their situation.  They are simply offering their lives to help.

So we sit in our air-conditioned, well-furnished homes and watch all this on the news networks.  We (myself included) talk about how stupid it was to build nuclear power plants in the most earthquake-prone country on the planet.  Then we turn to another network, listen to a news report about how Medicare is running out of money, how our income bracket is about to incur a tax increase or how our home value is going down the drain.  We promptly forget about Japan and get busy organizing protests, writing letters to our congressmen and complaining to everyone we meet because we might lose something.

I believe we've lost touch with what is important in life.  Our culture has changed the way we look at the world around us.  As a matter of fact it has caused us to stop looking at the world around us unless it might have some negative impact on our wellbeing.  We have become so self-absorbed we have forgotten about things like compassion and grace.  We don't know the meaning of words like altruism and sacrifice.

I read the article and thought about the man being interviewed.  Is he a Christian?  Odds are he isn't.  Christians comprise about 1% of the population of Japan.  But his attitude certainly is Christ-like.

As a Christian I have to say I am ashamed of myself.  A Christian, of all people on this planet, ought to understand the concept of sacrifice.  A Christian, of all people, ought to understand the concept of denying oneself and taking up a sacrificial cross.  And the hope of a Christian ought to be motivation enough to overcome any trepidation about taking up that sacrificial cross.

As a parent I realized I am not setting an example to my children.  Why?  Probably because I am not so filled with that hope as I ought to be.  That has to change!

My two teenage daughters are going to Missouri next week on a mission trip.  They will spend the week doing manual labor to help a ministry there with tasks it otherwise would cost them thousands of dollars to have done.  What am I going to do while they're gone?  I'll find something to do!

"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends". John 15:13

Buster Keaton... Better Than Hanna Montana, Idol and DWTS Combined!

School is out for the girls.  Lindsey just finished her Jr. year.  She took the ACT for the first time and made a 23.  I have to say I'm proud of her.  I didn't do that well... on either attempt.  I expect she'll do much better on her second attempt.  Lacey finished K5.  She's reading and writing (We're not going to be able to spell words in front of her anymore) and loving every minute of it.  Watching her sisters do (home) school is a great motivation for her.  She loves her teacher ("Mrs. Wright") and "Mrs. Wright" says she's the best student in the class!  She especially loves it when her principal ("Mr. Wright") is at school (working from home).  Lauren finished her freshman year.  I guess it was uneventful.  She didn't have a brain meltdown.  She did very well on her SAT this year.

Tonight, since they can all stay up a bit later, my girls are currently in the living room watching a Buster Keaton movie... and loving every minute of it!  No innuendo. No foul language.  No graphic violence. No horrible dialog.  No fancy dialog.  In fact, no dialog at all!  Who would have thought kids in 2011 would be in love with silent films?  I was in the back and could hear them laughing.  It was mostly Lindsey but I could hear Lacey's cackle as well, and, once in awhile, Lauren.

Actually, I could have told you that.  Since they were tiny we've watched old movies.  Movies with Gene Kelley, Grace Kelly, Cary Grant, Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Ginger Rogers, Leslie Caron, Mitzi Gaynor (They aren't a big fan of Marilyn Monroe), Laurel and Hardy, Abbot and Costello and so many more.  And now that our oldest are teens they would rather watch these classics than just about any new movie (well, they are  big Narnia fans).

So the question I have to ask is why?  Why would they rather watch these movies than the new ones?  And why do other kids their age have no patience for such wonderful movies while my kids will sit there glued to the screen even though that glass of KoolAid the drank is begging to be returned to the wild?  What is it that makes these movies so fun to watch... more fun than High School Musical or even Wipeout??

I think the answer is this... it's not the movies but it's the girls.  Dad always repeated something his uncle was known for saying... "It's all in what you're used to".  It's a very simple statement... almost stating the obvious.  But I think parents often forget this simple truth.

Now, I want to make myself clear.  I am not going to spend time here condoning or condemning any one movie or television show.  I want to make different point entirely.  We have always been very careful to monitor what our girls watch.  Foul language, sex, violence.  We've tried to keep those things at a minimum.  But our efforts have gone further than that.  We have also tried to eliminate seemingly benign programming in which the child repeatedly shows disrespect for others (but specifically elders) or repeatedly engages in wrongdoing with little or no consequences, knowing that allowing them to watch such things gives them the impression we believe the behavior exhibited is acceptable.  We introduced them to these classic movies since they give (for the most part) great examples of showing respect for elders, friends and members of the opposite sex.  They also display (for the most part) good moral values, something left behind years ago in Hollywood.  And they do it in a lighthearted, entertaining manner, something else left behind years ago in Hollywood.

You may be thinking that we're shielding our children from reality.  Based on the experiences we have with our children as we live out our daily lives in this world, I'm certain they know what reality is.  Plus, I hope you don't believe television is reality.  We certainly don't.  Our goal is to help them to understand how they are to conduct themselves no mater what the "real" situation is.  So if they were, for example, confronted with a situation in which they were disciplined or chastised by a superior (boss, instructor) they wouldn't behave like a teenage sitcom star and have an emotional breakdown, call all their friends and badmouth their superior or set out for revenge.  Instead they will be able to examine the situation and respond in the best way possible... a way that improves their situation and shows respect for those in authority.

The upside to this is they will be able to live a life that helps them to be the best witness for Christ they can be.  If they are consistently able to respond to situations in a Christ-like manner their lives become their witness.  If they behave like Drama Queens anytime things don't go their way then they essentially have no witness.

What have we learned over the past seventeen years?  It can be summed up in four letters.  GIGO!  That is, "garbage in, garbage out".  What goes in comes out... good or bad.  Yes, our girls watched Hanna Montana.  And one of them (she knows who she is) has a tendency to be a drama queen... although without Hanna's Tennessee accent.  She also knows how Buster Keaton responds when things don't go his way.  More importantly, she knows how Joseph responded when he was sold into slavery and when he was falsely accused and thrown into prison.

"It's all in what you're used to".  Let me ask you, what are your children "used to"?  I'm not asking you to boycott Disney... but just to consider whether the things going into your children via the television or the internet are the things you would like to see coming out of them.  Think about it.

I truly believe that when our girls set out on their own they're not going to be so desensitized to the world around them that they don't notice a thing.  They're going to take in the world around them and they're going to respond.  They're going to respond in a way that glorifies Christ and that benefits (blesses) those around them.  That is definitely my prayer.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.