Louella

Friday, March 19th

For the past ten years we've sponsored a beautiful girl who lives in an orphanage in southern Arkansas.  Her name is Louella.  When Louella was seven we got to meet her, her two older sisters and her older brother for the first time.  Because they all lived in the orphanage members of our church decided to sponsor the children.  We decided to sponsor Louella... Since she was the same age as our girls we thought they would all get along very well.

I can still recall the unbridled joy on our girls' faces when we told them we were going to sponsor Louella.  Whenever it was she came to see us the girls became so excited.  Now, ten years later, our girls are 13 and 15... and we have a 3-year-old girl to boot.  They still get excited when Louella comes... and that excitement has rubbed off on our little one.

Today Louella is coming for spring break just as she has for the past ten years.  Only this will be the last time she will come as a child of the orphanage.  She graduates high school this spring.... so after this she will be an adult and will be making her own decisions.  I have to admit, I'm a little apprehensive.  I find myself wondering whether she will continue to visit on her own or if she will move into her own world and not have time for us.

Whatever path Louella chooses we know that God placed her in our household.  We know we have done what we could over the past ten years to help be a family for her... a Christian family that she will want to emulate later on. 

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.  (3Jn 1:4)

Much like being a parent... starting a blog is all new territory. I'm going to start here and we'll see how things go. First off let me tell you this... I'm not an any way licensed to give professional advice to parents. So don't go telling your doctor I said this or that. What you hear from me is based on experience... not schoolroom study. Some might say that's a good thing.

The reason I selected the title of "Being A Parent" was becuase a parent needs to be apparent to their children. This it my first and by far most important advice to anyone looking to be a parent.  Never force your child to guess what you're thinking. Be consistent in the way you discipline your children. I'm speaking to both positive and negative senses.

Your child will crave boundaries. If you don't keep consistent boundaries a few things will happen. First, your child will always be looking for them and this will be the times when parents observe their children pushing the envelope... testing the waters... looking for your breaking point... that's where the boundary is.

Second, your child will be insecure. The misconception here is that, if I allow my child to explore the world on their own it will build their self-esteem and they will grow as a person. A child who does not have boundaries will always be insecure... wondering if their parents (and their friends) approve of them.

This is where the negative and positive statement comes in. Discipline is teaching... it covers punishment and reward. If you are consistent in punishment and inconsistent in rewards you will have a child that is afraid to do anything. On the contrary, if you are inconsistent in punishment and consistent in rewards your child will not be afraid to do anything. In fact, he or she will learn not to trust you as a parent. If you are inconsistent in both then you are asking for a life of misery.

Consistency! It's one of the most important things to remember in parenting!!